Blog #3

Hot dang, it is hot out today.

I got up this morning and made another van load to the dump and another full load to the cardboard recycle.
Then we made another load to the lock up, but before we could unload we had to spend almost an hour moving the stuff around like a Tetris game. The cheapest lock up does not have very much space, so in order to make the last of our things fit... we played box Tetris.

Does anyone have any idea how hard all this moving is?  I would like to hear.

I am sure Annette Ringier has no idea the stress she has put me and my children under.

When I was not able to pay my rent and found out I could not qualify for any social assistance.
Yes that is right!  As soon as I discovered Annette ended her financial help to me, I dashed down town to find help. First I went to the 'Elisabeth Fry Society' because they are said to help woman. They listened to my story, with much compassion I must add, and then they dashed me over to 'Immigration' as I was told it was an immigration problem because I have been out of the country for so long.
It was the immigration officer that told me I have no help coming to me and that my e-mails between Annette, her helpers and I have no legal standing.
Plus I do not qualify for any social assistance because I have had no Canadian taxable income for 18 years now. ( I was a stay at home Mom before we went to Europe)
I was told to liquidate all my assets and only after I did that I should then be allowed to move into a woman's shelter.
A woman's shelter!!??

So I asked if I could get a Government grant to reopen my Childrens center because I have everything needed except for a room to set up in. I was told there is no grant for me because of cut backs.

This makes me mad because I recently read in the paper our leader of BC, Mr Gordon Campbell (Who, by the way I used to work with when I was 'Vancouver's Mascot Tillicum' ) just gave himself a raise.  Where are his cut backs???

So that is basically what I have done. Liquidated. There was so much stuff to go through. Not only did I have the 300 boxes I mentioned already But, there was also our full household belongings.  I can not afford to store all of the things or transport them.
I know this because without the 300 boxes sent from Europe, it already cost me $4400 to move our household items from the house in Salmon Arm up here to Prince George. That is too expensive to do again. What if I have to transport further? Ouch.
So we did as I said ...garage sale, garage sale garage sale.

At least before this, Annette paid. Now I have to pay.

I am still of the opinion that if she had set us up right in the first place we would not only already be settled but we would have saved so much money!!!
Again, I e-mailed Annette and her helpers as to what was happening but it is clear that they just do not care.

It would be different if she was doing this to a single person. but I am alone with 3 kids, just what do they expect of me.

To be honest the few people I have shared my full story details with in person , have told me straight out they would have given up by now. Curled up in a little ball and died.
So either I am really strong or really stupid?!

Being strong is okay to a point. In Switzerland everyone called me "Power Frau". but to be honest, I really wish I did not have to be so strong.  I dream of a Hero to sweep me up in his arms and take care of me for a change.  I dream of having an equal relationship where someone has my back.

A girl can dream can't she?

And what is with this finance company evicting me without very much notice. 3 weeks is not enough time to reorganize ones life. I kept saying I am alone and how do I do everything in time? They tell me "Oh, so sorry but we are running a business and not a charity. We are already being kind to you".
The stress alone of trying to meet their deadline was off the hook. I know if I have enough time from the start I would have been able to go through and organize our things better and have a more successful garage sale.
I ran around sleepless and stressed like a chicken with its head cut off to make the deadline, only to have them kindly extend it for me by 2 weeks. Ughh  Thank you but Aghhhhhh!!

What did they expect of me?
What did Annette expect of me?

I am only human people.  Where is the love?

Like my neighbors? Where is 'love thy neighbor? They all talk about their faith in God but do they step outside the box to help? No,
When my van got broken into twice. And the house was vandalized, I ran around and took the time to organize a neighborhood watch.  It was the right thing to do ( so I thought)
Everyone knows I am alone with kids and no man but do they stop to offer to help or take a load in their truck to the dump? No, They mostly drive by and do not look at me.  Where is the love.

This frustrates my kids because they said, "Mom, if any of our neighbors were in the position we are in,we know you would be the first to step up and help out".
They are right , I would.
See, it is because I am too nice.

I need a nap.
This Blog venting is a good thing.  I get everything off my chest and out of my mind so I can keep my chin up and concentrate on my positive affirmations.
Like; something great is about to happen! This is just a cleansing period in our lives. Everything is going to be okay. Right?

I am told, God only gives you what you can handle, I just wish he would not trust me with so much.

and how about the saying "If it does not kill you it will make you stronger" How strong am I meant to be???

Thanks for the vent
Have a lovely Sunday
I am going to watch 'My Name is Earl' and then take a nap.  I have much to clean around here.

Randie